Friday, July 25, 2008

A lot has been made recently concerning the apparent demise of the ACC and how the raid on the Big East did not go as planned. To say the formation of this super conference didn't go as planned is a gross understatement. It absolutely failed miserably, I'm talking Bay of Pigs, Ryan Leaf as your number one draft pick type failure. While formulating their rise to conference supremacy, the presidents and AD's of the ACC institutions had to at least formulate a possible scenario for if it all goes wrong. They may have thought that the conference would only get an at-large BCS bid only every other year or that the Miami/FSU game would eliminate an ACC team from national title contention each season. I am sure that not one of them pictured the downfalls that have played out over the last few seasons.

Before we dive straight into the numbers (what can numbers really prove anyway) it's important to just recap the last few seasons using name recognition alone. The first ACC title featured a stolen Big East team in Virginia Tech losing to a mediocre Florida State. While the conference was disappointed that their champion would be ranked so low (and lose their BCS game), the game itself seemed like a relative success. The next season's title game featured Wake Forest vs. Georgia Tech. Not exactly a match of perennial titans, but sometimes it's nice to have new blood in the title game. However, it's not so nice to turn on the TV and see section after section of empty seats and bored fans. The bowl season wouldn't be any better as both title game participants lost to Big East teams in their bowl games. The 2007 title game featured a pair of Big East runaways in another empty stadium miles away from where either team calls home (not to mention another loss for the ACC champion in the BCS). Not exactly what everyone had in mind.

Now to the numbers. The ACC showed signs of a demise after ACC king supreme Florida State lost to Oklahoma in the 2000 National Championship. From 2001-2003 the highest ranked ACC team couldn't pass 11 in the final AP poll. Surely, that would change when the cream of the Big East crop switched allegiances. Not so much. Over the past four seasons, the average of the highest ranked ACC team when it all is said and done stands at.......you guessed it 11. Now to give the conference some credit, Virginia Tech did finish at 7 in 2005 and 9 in 2007, but Wake Forest finished an embarrassingly low 18 in 2006. Low rankings, no at large BCS invitations, no national titles (or appearances) and a .000 winning percentage in BCS games since 1999 all smell of failure for the conference and the formulators of this "super-conference". But it gets worse. Over the past two seasons the ACC has compiled a 19-32 record against non-conference BCS teams and a pitiful 6-10 bowl record (we won't even get into their opponents). The ACC futility is only rivaled by that of the Big Ten, but at least they have put multiple teams in the BCS and made appearance in the national championship (well at least kinda made an appearance) Meanwhile, what of the conference that the ACC pillaged in order to produce the new band of football powerhouses? Three straight BCS wins, a 22-17 BCS non-conference record and an 8-2 bowl record over the last two seasons.

Unless the ACC turns it around quickly, the great greed grubbing of a conference conquest will go down as one of the worst ideas in sports history. I'm talking XFL, sacrificing a whole draft for Ricky Williams type idea.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

SEC Fan Base Humor

Sadly, none of us here can take credit for this amazing contribution to the site.. it was emailed to one of us and we decided to post it. However, please enjoy and take personal offense to the critique of your own fanbase.. b/c if it doesn't ring true, you're in complete denial.

The Fanbases of the SEC:
As an aside, these are not ranked in order of how much I like or hate each team. Instead, they are placed in order of how I think they will fare in each respective division. If you have any complaints about where your team has been placed, please pay attention to the close detailed analysis I've done of each offensive and defensive skill player and send your emails to kissmy_@$$_@idontcare.com if you need further asistance

The West:
1. Auburn: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Even 6 straight wins over Alabama hasn't released the inferiority complex. Continuously point out that there are some stores in the state that solely sell Auburn gear, even if they're outnumbered by Bama-only shops 7:1. Continuously point out (starting in 2008) that recruiting rankings DON'T matter.

2. LSU: Previously, a good bunch.. until they actually started winning the past 10 years. Since then, they try to put up the guise that LSU football has been more than a dingleberry on the arse of college football history in the grand scheme of things. Ignore any reasonable or objective point that Les Miles' questionable coaching and risky play calling wouldn't work with a less-talented squad top to bottom. Defer any doubts about being the top ranked SEC recruiting class Post-Saban or questions about the 2008 QB situation by yelling "TIGER BAIT!" and "NATIONAL CHAMPS!" If that doesn't shut critics up, try West Virginia fanbase tactics.

3. Alabama: The only fans in the SEC that complain about the referees, win or lose, despite being obviously helped if you ask any of the other 11 teams in the conference (or the other 119 Division 1A teams). Refuse to admit that you actually lost a game because your team sucked because it was clearly the refs or (insert coach who can't live up to Bear Bryant)'s fault. Spring game attendance and recruiting rankings were meaningless until 2 years ago, now they translate into national championships 2-3 years down the road. Make up national championships so that no matter how bad you are on the field today, you can always "remember" yesteryear, even if you weren't f---g alive.

4. Ole Miss: When the conversation turns from proper ways to dress and set up a snotty-ass tailgate to actual football post-integration outside of Eli's 2003 campaign, suddenly act like football is an afterthought to tailgating and remind everyone that the girls here are hotter and richer. Actually, it usually works. Guys can forget ugly seasons for their team. It's tough forgetting your wife is a hound, and worse paying for one to loaf off of you. Go get ya an Ole Miss gal.

5. Mississippi State: ... DING DING DING... Break from cowbell ringing... DING DING DING... WE BEAT OLE MISS AND WENT TO THE LIBERTY BOWL!!!! WE ARE ACTUALLY FROM MISSISSIPPI UNLIKE THOSE PEOPLE OVER AT OLE PISS DING DING DING!!! Remove the straight jacket and begin Hooked on Phonics lesson 1.

6. Arkansas: Talk about how many conference championships you have from the SWC and boast of how fierce of conference foes SMU, TCU, Rice, Houston, and Baylor once were to collect such important trophies. Act like you are completely beneath the record you've compiled in the SEC since your inclusion and make sure everyone knows Houston Nutt was the only thing holding Arkansas back. Arkansas = Purdue = Oregon State = Kansas State. Deal with it.

The East:
1. Florida: "We're better @ everything overall, and we'll tell you about it." Act completely aloof to the rest of the SEC for being "southern" and "trashy," but make sure to show up to games in jorts, hair gel, and bikini tops like it's a redneck carwash. Remember that winning doesn't make you humble, it makes you classy. And how does one act classy? According to the UF Dictionary, it means refusing to answer any legitimate question about your team, and instead say "Well, we're Florida. We can handle it." Smile and talk in a very all-knowing and condescending tone.

2. Georgia: First, we need to make sure everyone knows how classy our coach is and that he is the only person with integrity running a team in this cheating-laden league. Bark a few times. Then let the complaining begin. We shoulda played for the title game last year...wah, wah, wah,...why don't you have us #1 in your preseason rankings...wah, wah, wah....why don't you not get blown out by Tennessee..... silence...

3. South Carolina: Formely, the fat girl with pretty friends. She was good to "talk to." And she just liked being around for the ride, b/c there's no way she's getting any free drinks unless her ultra hot friends are with her @ the club demanding the guy include her in the tab. However, she decided to get some plastic surgery. We're still waiting for the scars to heal and the bandages to come off to see what kind of improvements were really made. Regardless of the results, she will swear to the death about her doctor's ability (i.e. Spurrier). She's always yelled "C-cks" so, regardless, there has always been a "cool" factor about her..

4. Tennessee: Hate Alabama... take pride and joy in their 10 years of futility. Give your head coach credit for Alabama's sucktitude and then at the same time verbally behead him if he only wins 9+ games for the the 8th time in 10 years. Make sure everyone knows that Peyton went to UT and he's better than Eli, Tom Brady, and Brett Favre. Also make sure that they know his overcoming the Manning-family choke was due to being a Vol rather than Tony Dungee. Isn't this supposed to be about SEC fanbases? Oh that's right, Tennessee fans haven't had much to talk about regarding their own team lately.

5. Kentucky: "At least we can beat Duke in this funny game!"

6. Vanderbilt: Play it razor thin, other SEC teams, b/c if you say something nasty about us and we leave the conference, just so you know...the aggregate student athlete GPA goes back to being 1.8.

39 Days until kick off..

A new season is just around the corner and CF Experts is ready to get underway after our failed attempt last year.. why are we experts? Because we wanted to call ourselves that. And really, if you spent as much time obsessing over every stat and game in college football, you'd at least hope you could at least call yourself an expert on a blog site.

NCAA 2009 came out last Tuesday. Is it sad that waiting for a video game's release rivals the feeling of getting your hands on that first Playboy issue you saw when you were 14? NCAA is quite possibly the greatest way to waste entire days at a time without feeling gulity. After all, your team just collected 10-13 national titles in a span of 9 hours erasing all the bad memories from last season. However, there's something even greater about the videogame than the game itself, its release signifies that college football season isn't that far away. Unfortunately, the time between now and kick-off at 7:45pm EST on August 28th is the most painful. It is oft said that the reason God made pregnancy 9 months, and labor so intense and painful, is so that women would have just a glimpse what us men go through this time of the year.

Last year, a few of us thought we'd try to run a prediction site - something akin to CFN. This year, we're going to be realistic... with ourselves. Basically that means we're just going to post non-sensical "articles" (read: Rants) throughout the season. Many of them will mock your team, other posts will mock your team's fans. If it makes you mad? Please, email us. That way we can post the comments and we might not have to write something that particular day. No, but really, the more feedback the better. Unless you're a Big Ten fan whining for respect. Seriously? Oh, Ohio State is going to be good this year? For real?

That said, from all of us that contribute, there will be some severe biases.. and many of them will not make sense and they come all different conferences all across the country. Okay, so it's mostly biased towards the South - but there's a little ND, WVU, and Navy thrown in there for good measure. You're probably thinking we're a group of guys who randomly met on a late-night at a Bourbon Street Strip Club... or we're just crazy. It's the latter. But that's not to say we haven't done the former. And so we hope you take that into consideration when reading the blog. As you can see, we're fairly biased towards the South. So to improve upon this "bias?" We will have a resident Yankee, our own Seaside Tony if you will (Jaegerbombs!!) to give his own "in-flight/in-game commentary" that truly depicts how everyone really feels when your team fumbles on your opponent's 1/2 yard line.

Best of luck to everyone getting actual work done for the next 40 days... because we all know that comes to a screeching hault August 28th. Christmas comes early this year everyone ,as Labor Day is earlier than usual.

Here's to College Football...

- CFExperts